Adz
I lie here still, reflecting, as heat bows down to obey the storm
When the rain begins it cuts me deep that I wasted the day forlorn
Kept goin' asleep 'cause I couldn't come up with a reason to rise from bed
I muse how it would take days for the neighbours to find my body inside here dead
When I was still a teen I wanted to fasten a hose with mask to a gas pipe
Then sit in that womb and blast some cones and slowly pass from in that life
See the plan was at first that I'd go and I'd burn all the photos with me in 'em
So it was like I'd never been born and the world I left would keep on spinnin' without me

I don't think that I will for a while but I'm losing the hope of peace
A mentor topped himself in his forties, maybe that's when I will be released
See it ain't that I think that my life is hard in terms of relative woe
It's just I'm a fucken joke and I hate myself for the sorrow this fella does sew
I remember the time my ex first saw in the selfish side (of) my heart
She used to say I'm a good man but then I watched something in her eyes go dark
I just can't compartmentalise; guess genes and cortisol done my mind
Nearly died from the smack and I think that's how I'll roll when it comes my time

Rinnaz
I feel like I'm a thousand thousand thousand years old
And it's time that I go to sleep
And it's time that I close my eyes

Rinnaz
Bro, when you talk like that, it's selfish - how would it make your family feel?
Think of everybody that you'd leave behind 'fore you go and make those plans be real
Common Adz, I reckon you're letting yourself be weak, didn't mean to scorn ya
But you can never know what's in store, a new experience 'round the corner

Adz
But I feel so old from fighting myself, depression it fits like gloves
I've failed at family, money and music and most of all at love
I can't seem to defeat my pride, anxiety kills me, booze - it owns me
Despite how I claim empathic, I can't relate, yo in truth I'm lonely

Rinnaz
Stop bein' so hard on yourself, ain't no one perfect, stay in the moment
If you wanna be loved you've gotta first love yourself; you're the only opponent - own it

Adz
Yeah but that's the struggle right there, you know, it ain't like I don't understand it
It's just that I can't control myself so my life ain't how I fucken planned it

Adrian Incarnate 2015